It’s the most wonderful time of the year, which means three things: it’s the time for giving, the time for overeating, and the time for overplayed holiday-themed music. Regardless of whether you love Christmas songs or you love to hate them, escaping them completely during the time between the moment Halloween ends and Christmas is impossible. Radio stations devote their entire music selection to holiday music, Christmas jingles play at every store, and- depending on your neighborhood- random strangers show up to your doorstep singing carols (I’ve never lived in a neighborhood that does but the concept that some do is just weird and square as hell, but that’s a conversation for another day).
Personally speaking, Christmas music is cool and all but it soooo overplayed. There are some songs that will never not be lit, Mariah Carey’s “All I want for Christmas” for example, or anything by Michael Bublé. Others though, just keeping it 100 here, should be left in past where they belong.
“Baby, it’s Cold Outside” honestly sounds a little bit too creepy after a few listens (listen to how many times ol’ boy doesn’t take no for an answer). Another example is Bing Crosby’s “White Christmas.” That shit is just plain boring after the first few listens, yet it’s the best-selling single record of all-time. ALL-TIME. Not even the best Christmas record, just straight up record, period. Go ahead look it up. It’s outsold anything Mariah Carey and Beyoncé has ever put out. “White Christmas” only has 56 words. “Gucci Gang” has around 270 not including ad-libs. Let that sink-in.
There is an untapped reserve of Christmas music though. One that can truly bring a wave of freshness and renewed holiday excitement to even the most tired ears, and that is Christmas-themed rap music. Hip-hop and Christmas may not look fit together on paper, but there’s quietly been a long and impressive overlapping between the two for years, from Eazy E’s “Merry Muthafuckin’ Xmas” (which is objectively bad) to the Ying Yand Twins’ “Deck Da Club” (objectively bad, but enjoyable after putting some Henny in the egg nog) to Chance The Rapper’s “Jingle Barack” sketch on SNL (objectively great AND hilarious).
Holiday rap is something that some of the most keen hip-hop heads overlook, but with the rise of hip-hop being more omnipresent in mainstream media, Christmas raps might soon be a regular thing we can listen to on the radio and office winter parties to get in the holiday spirit instead of the same crusty white dudes we’re tired of hearing already. So without any more to say, in no particular order, here’s the 12 best holiday rap songs that’ll turn your Christmas into LITmas (Note: only one song per project):
“Christmas In Hollis” by RUN-DMC
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A true original, and the gold-standard to which all Christmas songs should be measured by, regardless of genre. Although this isn’t the first Christmas rap song (more on that later), it was the first that really got any mainstream love. Being the pioneers that they truly are, RUN-DMC really opened the door for what could be for rappers getting in touch with the holiday szn, and they do it while eloquently capturing the best part of Christmas time. “It’s Christmas time in Hollis, Queens/Mom’s cooking chicken and collard greens/Rice and stuffing, macaroni and cheese,” might be the most mouth watering bar in history, and when DMC said it, you can sure as hell bet your entire life’s savings that I felt it.
“Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer” by DMX
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God, we don’t ever give DMX enough credit. Just as an aside to start a debate, X is arguably top 5 dead or alive. At his peak, this man was the Kevin Garnett of hip-hop with how he poured every fiber of his being into every song, every bar, every word. This cover of the classic carol is no different. How mean seriously, not only is this the most lit cover to a carol ever, but this video just might be one of the greatest recorded moments in existence. Think about it, of all the time periods you could have lived in, you exist in the same one where this video exists. That alone should make you grateful for being alive. Better yet, the Darkman himself dropped an official version of the song and it’s just soooooo damn good. Like I said before, top 5 dead or alive. I’ll be waiting in the comments.
“Christmas Rapping” by Kurtis Blow
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Kurtis Blow is another guy that doesn’t nearly get enough credit he deserves. One of the triple OG pioneers of rap, not only is he the first commercially successful rapper, the first rapper to sign with a major label, the first rapper t0 incorporate a hook in a song, but he also made the first Christmas-themed rap record. It’s a funky track that is more about having fun than celebrating Christmas though. The original track is a ridiculous eight-minutes long (it’s so crazy to think about, but six-plus minute songs were the norm when hip-hop first started), with few Santa references and the last five minutes are basically Blow just feeling himself and gassing up the audience, but at the end of the day it set the blueprint for all future holiday themed rap records, and it’s certainly possible that if it weren’t for Blow and this song right here, I might not even be able to make this list in the first place.
“Merry Christmas Lil Mama” by Chance The Rapper & Jeremih
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When Chano and Jeremih dropped their Christmas mixtape last year, it was honestly the best gift I got that winter. It’s something I didn’t know I wanted, but definitely needed. Especially considering the crazy year Chance had in 2016, the project was the perfect sendoff into 2017, and despite all the songs being more than deserving on being on this list, I had to go with the titular track. “Merry Christmas Lil Mama” is the perfect bow used to wrap up the project, essentially serving as the Christmas version of the classic Chicago juke track “Get Down Lil Mama.” I dare anyone to listen to this and not feel the urge to start dancing. It’s not truly a Chicago Christmas until this song is played.
“Santa Goes Straight To The Ghetto” by Death Row Records (Feat. Snoop Dogg, Nate Dogg, Big Tray Deee, Bad Azz, & Daz Dillinger)
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A lot of people forget about this but at the peak of the East-West rivalry that dominated hip-hop, Death Row dropped a whole Christmas album in 1996. This song is like if “Nuthin’ but a G Thang” and whatever your favorite carol got together and gave birth the most gangster holiday ever, and it’s perfect. It’s a real ass track though. Among the topics explored is that Christmas in the ghetto isn’t quite so innocent and joy-filled as it is in more privileged areas, with the amount of homeless people sleeping in the cold and parents being unable to afford gifts for their kids. Despite the hard times, life can still be good though, so instead of getting toasty next to the yule log with a cup of egg nog, crack open a 40, roll up a spliff and kick back and enjoy this smooth G-Funk carol.
“Ludacrismas” by Ludacris
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I can’t tell what’s more absurd, the fact that Ludacris actually made an original Christmas song for the movie Fred Clause starring Chicago-native Vince Vaughn (not a good movie btw), or the fact that this song is actually hard as fuck. Let’s never forget how unfuckwithable Luda was in the early-to-mid 2000s though. Everything he touched went hard as fuck back then.
“Grinch” by Busta Rhymes (Feat. Jim Carrey)
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Yes, you read that right. Jim Carrey is featured on a song with Busta Rhymes. And like, it’s not like he just speaks on the outro or something, like he legit drops bars. Fire bars. While in character as The Grinch. Busta is on point as always, but put some respeck on Jim Carrey. Mans is truly the mfin’ goat at everything he does.
“Christmas in Harlem” by G.O.O.D. Music (Feat. Kanye West, Teyana Taylor and Cyhi The Prynce)
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Remember G.O.O.D. Fridays? It’s that period of time where Kanye dropped a new single every Friday leading up to and briefly after the release of My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy, and it’s a time I shall forever wish to relive just for the sake of being able to listen to those songs for the first time again. One of the more slept on tracks from that time is this hidden gem, which perfectly captures what it’s really like to be alive during the most wonderful time of the year. Honestly, this might be the best original song on this list. Between Kanye actually sounding legitimately happy on this song, Teyana Taylor’s graceful voice, and the easy-going beat which is literally the most perfect beat for a hip-hop carol, this song might be the best Christmas carol of the current decade (also make sure to check out the extended version here which feature Dipset, Musiq Soulchild, Big Sean, and Pusha T).
“St. Brick Intro” by Gucci Mane
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With a list of aliases that includes “The East Atlanta Santa,” it was only a matter of time that Guwop gifted us with a new holiday jingle. Zaytoven takes the iconic jingle bells sample and turns it into something truly beautiful. Gucci goes in dropping his classic boastful bars with a Christmas twist. If El Gato rapping “I’m just trappin’ through the snow/Sellin’ nine half a bricks in four ways/Over the hills we go/Got an extendo and an AK (gra, gra, gra)” in the same flow as the “Jingle Bells” song doesn’t get you hype for gift giving, then you’re nothing but a plain Scrooge.
“A Christmas Fucking Miracle” by Run The Jewels
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This one gets in on a technicality. Despite the name, the song has nothing to do with the holiday season and focuses on the trials and tribulations that both El-P and Killer Mike had to go through in order to get where they are now. But the title has Christmas in it and the video has a holiday theme so it get in, as it should. Everything RTJ does is absolute gold and honestly they belong on any best music list, regardless of the criteria.
“Ghostface X-Mas” by Ghostface Killah (Feat. Shawn Wigs)
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Drinking hot chocolate and staying up waiting for Santa never sounded so damn hard. The Wu-Tang co-founder absolutely snaps rapping about his favorite things during the holiday szn, like cinnamon cakes and sledding down trash can lids. It’s actually a lyrically innocuous track, but it’s delivered so aggressively that if you aren’t careful you might feel like starting a fight with your local mall Santa. In other words, it’s the perfect song to play in background right before those inevitable debates happen between you and your problematic uncle.
“Player’s Ball” by OutKast
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A song about attending a player’s ball on Christmas day, this song (like all OutKast songs) drips in nothing but the utmost swagger, pure dopeness and absolute pimp shit. With a subtle jingle bell sample in the background and slick references to classic carols, this is a holiday track disguised as a joint that can be played all year long (and was actually slightly modified so it can be played year-round after it achieved noticeable Billboard success). Big Boi and Andre 3000 were still teenagers when they made this record, but it was early proof for the legacy they would live behind as the greatest rap duo in history.
“Family For” by Chance The Rapper & Jeremih
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I’m unashamedly cheating on this one. This song comes from the Merry Christmas Lil’Mama *Re-Wrapped which, if you think about it, is like the sequel tape to the original Merry Christmas Lil’ Mama mixtape, and thus a separate project. Regardless of semantics, this is the perfect song to play once the whole family is at the crib, gifts are being exchanged, and the love is just flowing everywhere around you, which is exactly what the szn is about.
